If you’ve spent time around Japanese people, you might have noticed how frequently the word kawaii (cute) comes up in conversation. A visitor once remarked to me, “Japanese girls seem to find absolutely everything kawaii, don’t they?”
It’s true. The word is woven into the fabric of our daily lives.
We use it for clothes, accessories, and pets, but its reach goes far beyond that. We call children kawaii, but we also use it for grown men, the elderly, a specific gesture, or even a soft tone of voice. There are no barriers of age or gender; a middle-aged man might look at his male colleague’s keychain and say, “That’s kawaii,” and it feels perfectly natural. In Japan, anyone can say it, and anyone can be the subject of it.
But what do we actually mean when we use this word so liberally?
The Coexistence of “Uncool” and “Cute”
In many cultures, a man might prefer to be called “cool” rather than “cute.” However, a famous Japanese drama called The Full-Time Wife Escapist (NigeHaji) offers a fascinating perspective on this. The protagonist, Mikuri, explains that if you like someone for being “cool,” you might feel disillusioned when you see their uncool side. But if you find someone kawaii, even their failures or weaknesses only add to their charm. In this sense, “uncool” and “cute” can coexist beautifully. It’s similar to how we feel when a pet or a child makes a clumsy mistake—it warms our hearts and makes us love them even more.
The scope of kawaii is immense, making it difficult to define. Yet, at its core, it is always positive. While what one person finds kawaii depends entirely on their personal aesthetic, the feeling it evokes is universal. Whether it is Person A or Person B who captures your heart, the result is the same: they become a source of comfort. They give you a little spark of energy or bring a faint smile to your face, helping you get through another day. Perhaps kawaii is best described as something that reaches deep into our inner selves to become a source of quiet strength.
Your “Kawaii” Belongs to You
This brings to mind another Japanese drama, the mystery series Galileo. In it, a brilliant but eccentric physicist tells a female detective: “Beauty has the golden ratio and numerical evidence, but kawaii has no basis—it is nothing but an infinitely illogical and sensory subjectivity.”
That is exactly it. Kawaii is purely a matter of subjectivity. If you were to insist that “1 + 1 = 3,” you might be beaten down by criticism. But in the world of kawaii, you can think and say whatever you want. Even if you are the only person in the world who thinks A is kawaii or B is kawaii, no one has the right to deny it. You can say it as much as you like, because anything and everything can become kawaii, and your kawaii is an absolute freedom that belongs to you alone.
This means that even if you’re wearing an outfit or a cosplay that doesn’t perfectly “fit” conventional standards, it’s totally fine. If you or a few others feel it is kawaii, then it is undeniably so.
Doesn’t it feel like there is a deep sense of inclusion and acceptance in this concept?
On a side note, this kind of openness actually reminds me of something else in Japan—Buddhism.
Before I explain, I’d like you to take a look at this video from X:
As you can see, a Buddhist monk is offering a prayer to a figure of Santa Claus. To some, this might seem crazy, but in Japan, there is a long-standing belief that the divine resides in all things—from the great outdoors to the smallest everyday tools. This leads to a deep respect for all existence, including other religions.
Thinking about it like that, I can’t help but feel there’s a common thread between the concept of kawaii and this kind of openness.
When you hear someone nearby repeating the word “kawaii,” who knows?, it could be that they are actually, secretly, practicing Buddhism in their daily life.
